The Milestones of SAAJXNA - The Risik
So I've decided that before one of the most important journeys I will ever embark on turns to vague memories, Imma start documenting whatever I can remember. Well the last 2 years has been a great year for me, and its better late than never. So here goes, the start of one of the most important events in my life, the day I was spoken for.
but before that, a little preview of my thoughts and feelings myehehhehehheh
Well, I was going through some old posts, and by god I was so freakishly corny and lame, trying to deny I had feelings for this dude. But who am I kidding right, back then everyone who was everyone knew something was up, and we went steady even when we though we couldn't..so yayy to that!
Having grown up in a household which is exposed to Western media and culture, I have always dreamed of getting a proposal where the ordinary guy went out of his way to show his extraordinary love for the love of his life. I know, I watch AH LOOOOOTTT HOTTT of youtube proposal videos. But theres just something about the magical moment when he's taking that big step in choosing to be with that one woman that he wants to settle with and the effort he puts in for that big day..Im telling you Mat Salleh memang pandai buat this whole passionate, seeing his bride and tearing up stuff without looking less manly..anyways whatever kind of proposal it is, it must come for the heart, that way the girl would know that the guy himself wants this instead of I dunno family or societal pressure since he planned it.. so thats something I have always wanted.. a proposal planned entirely by himself
Enters Shahrul, i mean zzzz dude didn't even proposed to me to be his girlfriend right..apatah lagi nak propose for my hand in marriage. xD the only way it will happen is if I ASKED him to, and if I did, it would take the magical suprise out, as it defeats the purpose of doing it because he wanted to and it will just feel like he did it because he was forced amirite. and even so because Im the kind of person who have no shame towards people who love me, I actually I did ask him. I said to him
N: "Shahrul kalau u x mampu nak buat flashmob, Im fine with a guitar serenade or a flipbook card, isn't that sweet?"
to which he would reply absent-mindedly
S: "okay baby, yes nanti I buat" which is the equivalent of
Enters Shahrul, i mean zzzz dude didn't even proposed to me to be his girlfriend right..apatah lagi nak propose for my hand in marriage. xD the only way it will happen is if I ASKED him to, and if I did, it would take the magical suprise out, as it defeats the purpose of doing it because he wanted to and it will just feel like he did it because he was forced amirite. and even so because Im the kind of person who have no shame towards people who love me, I actually I did ask him. I said to him
N: "Shahrul kalau u x mampu nak buat flashmob, Im fine with a guitar serenade or a flipbook card, isn't that sweet?"
to which he would reply absent-mindedly
S: "okay baby, yes nanti I buat" which is the equivalent of
Im really about to settle down with my polar opposite here xD
Even if I do understand him I do have my doubts and the result is alot of people have told me that I seem very uncertain with this upcoming union but it isn't my fault really, Im only having doubts because I don't really know if he wants it to you know? he's just not as enthusiastic as me so far, even if he did repeatedly swear that this is what he wants (thank God) haha
Even if I do understand him I do have my doubts and the result is alot of people have told me that I seem very uncertain with this upcoming union but it isn't my fault really, Im only having doubts because I don't really know if he wants it to you know? he's just not as enthusiastic as me so far, even if he did repeatedly swear that this is what he wants (thank God) haha
so back to the Risik story
THE RISIK
so what happened was, around raya last year in 2015, my mom was asking Shahrul directly
"Shahrul bila nak masuk meminang?" to which he replied "masuk meminang? lepas raya"
and thats it. done. nothing else to it, literally thats how it happened. No one came to talk to me about it, no one came to discuss with me, its just my mother and my boyfriend casually deciding on a date where he'll come with his family to ask for me.
I know romantic right..romantically traditional.
Trust me I love this guy, Im not complaining or anything but it is really going south of how I imagined things to flow when it comes to my bridal journey,
Of course the feminist side of me was pissed at first,
because Shahrul and I agreed to wait after we finished chambering to even have any future talk and for god's sake he didn't even initiate it, we didn't talk about it, there was no signs nor plans, he didnt come to the house and went "aunty uncle i love your daughter and nak kahwin ngan dia" while I wait coyly by the side oh no no no no, it was a casual "when are you coming" followed by "after raya"
because Shahrul and I agreed to wait after we finished chambering to even have any future talk and for god's sake he didn't even initiate it, we didn't talk about it, there was no signs nor plans, he didnt come to the house and went "aunty uncle i love your daughter and nak kahwin ngan dia" while I wait coyly by the side oh no no no no, it was a casual "when are you coming" followed by "after raya"
THIS..MY FUTURE OFFSPRING.. IS HOW YOUR FATHER ASKED FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE
Im telling you as a fantasy romance type of gal things were not going according to plan.
Of course I had a strong objection at first. I mean I was mentally and physically unprepared, and because he never asked me, I was doubting that he even wanted me, I was scared that he was coerced into doing so.,and well like I said there wasn't any clear mention of I NAK KAHWIN DENGAN YOU nor any talks of the future, unless you count on him talking to his parents to datang risik me, WAIT DID HE ASK FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE TO HIS MOM?? mindblown, (but then to ask his mom isn't embarassing or out there, a proposal has to be embarassing and out there and him putting his heart out at my disposal! muahahahhahha) if anything we were just two dogs madly in love and thats it. I haven't met his parents more than twice the most, so of course I didn't take it well.
Nevertheless, the date was set though I refused to accept it was happening until like on the day itself because there was alot of misunderstanding and dates got mixed and postponements at least twice. (alot of people were pissed because I only told them on the day off, ampun!)
NAK RISIK PON KENE POSTPONE OK
so after almost a month of delaying the day I start my bridal journey came
31ST AUGUST 2015-RISIK DAY
and I was panicking of course when the time came, I didn't even have a baju risik or anything so I just grabbed the prettiest kurung I have and slapped some makeup on my face. I really did not believe it was happening. I only told my closest friends the day of, they were PRETTY PISSED..im sorry you guys! but really it was that surreal to me.
Anyways all my aunts and uncles gathered at my house, and they all waited patiently for his rombongan to come, which Im so touched by the way to say that all my aunties and uncles came as part of my rombongsan save for two, which one is one residing in Batu Pahat and the other one was in Indonesia at the time but much love and hugs for them too!
so as they assembled at the living room, the clock ticks
Anyways all my aunts and uncles gathered at my house, and they all waited patiently for his rombongan to come, which Im so touched by the way to say that all my aunties and uncles came as part of my rombongsan save for two, which one is one residing in Batu Pahat and the other one was in Indonesia at the time but much love and hugs for them too!
so as they assembled at the living room, the clock ticks
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
the time came, any minute now
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
10 minutes went by,
Im getting restless
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
15 minutes
my uncle
"Eyy Najj mana diaorang nie? kitaorang dah lapar dah"
me
"eheh eheh eheh nak sampai la tue.." *plotting murder inside
at this point I texted Shahrul
N: U kat mana? *I was sure he was gonna say he changed his mind he ain't coming
S: Otw tengah tunggu uncle I we all convoy
N: Ure late, can't you just get here now first?
S: Kejap, uncle i tukang cakap, dah kat rasta, lagi 5 minit sampai
N: Ok
ok no reason to panic he's still coming
ok no reason to panic he's still coming
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
30 minutes went by
phone rings*
N: YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW YOU DAH LAMBAT!
S: My uncle baru sampai I datang!
suddenly the gate opens and I see a throng of people coming in, lead by Shahrul's mom, whom I call Aunty, and I see my uncles and my mom welcoming the rombongan in, and the sound of the "riuh-rendah" ness of the elders in our two families just made me melt to the ground as I blend in the kitchen drapes.
Quite alot of people came more than we expected, so since there wasn't enough room in the living room the kids went down to the TV room in the basement..
I became so goddamn shy it was unbelievable. like the angry fire just melted and I literally became stoic and coy and just sat at the kitchen twiddling my fingers not knowing what to do, while everyone around me was busy preparing food. NERVOUS DIRISIK NIE SEMACAM
I became so goddamn shy it was unbelievable. like the angry fire just melted and I literally became stoic and coy and just sat at the kitchen twiddling my fingers not knowing what to do, while everyone around me was busy preparing food. NERVOUS DIRISIK NIE SEMACAM
kitchen explosion
meanwhile the elders were making themselves comfy and sitting down
my cousin Esah the unofficial photographer :D Mekaseh Esah
setting the table, theres a few more people at the back but semua tak pakai tudung so yeah
I hear the elders talking and laughing and introducing themselves, and I know somewhere Shahrul is there and my heart just galloped in leaps and bounds, I was so happy that I was convinced we won't fight for a week at least.
So basically the concept of risik in the olden days, is for the groom's family to come and make a pre-reservation and ask if the "bunga in the taman dah dipetik ke belum" hahah, from then the elders will ask their daughter, and if she accepts she wears the ring until the agreed engagement day where she will be officially booked until the nikah day. Complex sikit kan adat melayu nih heheh. Of course in those days, the groom's side just brave through and "datang membawa hajat" without any prior consent or agreement from the bride's side but nowadays and in my case, its all been agreed upon and we're all doing this for the sake of reliving our culture and tradition,
so after what seems like aeons, suddenly I hear my mom calling me
"Najjua janganla malu-malu, datangla sini" followed by the elders giggling
of course I went out blushing and blind as a bat, I wasn't wearing my glasses, and all I see is ALOT OF EYES, 3 things on the table and Shahrul's mom holding a ring box and I realized with a sudden "oh!" that its time to sarung cincin,
Im telling you having all eyes on you is not something you get used to!
So after salam-ing everyone the time has come!
sitting down screaming internally "don't rip anything!"
yayy!! Im officially spoken for!
I AM THE SOON TO BE FUTURE FIRST MENANTU OF THE AHMAD JAMAL FAMILY!
So afterwards,the rest of the day was pretty uneventful, Shahrul's family ate lunch which is soto singapore provided by my brother in law- FITZACK catering which btw the soto is just yumms!! It definitely lit the mood up and afterwards they all went back and it was my family's turn to eat.
wefie!!
Ami Osman and Baba kekonyangan
my nephew out for the day
THE HANTARANS
The ring box
A basket of fruits
I notice that some families like to go all out when it comes to hantarans- but since it was just merisik, my family agreed that a ring and "dua manisan would suffice"
Im happy that our families can mash well when it comes to this, coz some families are abit fussy and want everything to be prim and proper and mengikut adat, but as it so happens, both our families are pretty chill about it and since its only the first stage we decided to keep it as simple as possible xD
some impromptu potrait session by my cousin
we laughed so hard coz we are so inexperienced and awkward
closeup of the ring- it was a total suprise to me since I couldn't see it before,
Shahrul chose this and I love it!
notice my oven
for makeup I kept it simple and fresh aka I xtaw camna nak makeup so i bubuh je whatever was on my counter bahahhaha
after eating we all clamored to the front to devour the cupcakes
gone in 60 seconds xD
afterwards, I made an impromptu speech thanking my aunts and uncles for making time for this memorable day for me, I TRULY LOVE MY FAMILY
aunts and uncles getting ready to head off
Bye-bye lovely family!
one with my parents
I wanted Baba to sarung the ring for me just because xD
love the deets of my baju kurung
a demo of how I hid behind the drapes xD
At the end of the day, despite all the drama, Alhamdulillah everything went well. One thing I've learned that the mat sallehs dont have is that yes they are passionate and romantic and personal, but they're not family oriented and thats the joy of having my family and his in this journey with me representing us, its the kind of joy that is hard to describe yet best to achieve when one is going through these things. I feel positively elated! yes I dreamed about all these proposal thingies, and will still continue dreaming about it, (hint shahrul i want my proposal, theres 3 months to go till we're married you still have time to ask) but even if i get a guy who knows how to do these things, it wudnt be the same if it wasn't Shahrul asking. and you know what they say, you can plan things but you simply can't force happiness, so even if it did go the way I imagined (through forcing him to do this a certain way) maybe I won't feel as happy as I feel today with the way things turned out.. who knows!
So as a conclusion
MERISIK - CHECKED!
So here's to more and more milestones to come!
will keep updating soon!
FIN
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