My Tudung Story

Written by

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, today I am going to document one of the most memorable moments for Muslim girls. The transition story of wearing the Hijab.

The first time I wore tudung in public, it was pretty funny actually. It was the start of second semester, and as per tradition of every semester break, all the kids will wear baju raya. I wore tudung with a see-through kurung and well you get the picture. Tudung litup tapi iolls belanja lengan. ohhh what a noob haha. Then soon I hear a rumour that I wore the tudung coz my first ex's girlfriend wore tudung. So nie kes macam nak cuba jadi the girlfriend la nie. That was hilarious too. 

The journey of wearing the tudung was quite long for me because I had mixed ideologies. Allow me to explaon. You see when a Muslimah lives in a modern open country like Malaysia.. we tend to have different ideologies although those ideologies are wrong. Muslim women in Malaysia..especially those in westernized families..often choose to wear the Hijab when they feel like its the right time as opposed to when you have reached akil baligh. This is a wrong ideology.. but for fear of deprivation of human rights and for  fear of being forced and consequentially condeming the Hijab.. Muslim women has this mindset that they will adorn the Hijab when they are ready.. when they want to.. when its the right time. I guess it is reasonable in a way..although its wrong.. but the rationale here is quite understandable.. for instance.. why wear something that would symbolize your religion when you can't act in the manner that your religion requires..it leaves a negative impression on yourself and most importantly on your religion.

Well I used to think like that.. until I figured out that you can't expect to turn pious in one day and start wearing the hijab then.. its a process.. the baby steps is to dress appropriately first..and then once you've covered the basics you move on to being spiritually hijabbed..
I won't ever condemn those who have not yet covered their hair..because Allah SWT condemns those who judge and who knows maybe these people are more religious than me.. God knows I need to strengthen my faith.
Well back to the topic.. how did I come to wear my Hijab.. well truthfully its a number of things.
One was because of my family's subtle urging. At that time I was 19 years old.. Most of my cousins have adorned the hijab and I often get these looks of "hmmm-tak-cover-aurat" from my aunts when I walk in my jeans and baby-T and my hair cascading down my back. But if there's any maulid or bacaan doa when you are required to wear the hijab.. I would get support and praises like how beautiful I look or "aahh-thats-much-better" and "sejuk mata memandang" and all that. My family are not the kind to force.. but they sure know how to make their thoughts clear.

The next reason is because of health.. my hair is a mess.. a wild wavy mess.. and its dry and with my skin condition its not good.. not good at all.. especially if you couple it with the scorching sun yet humid weather.. you know how hard it is to maintain hair.. dahla Im a scent-freak.. I always need to smell good.. you know how much shampoo I spent to make sure my hair smells nice..and its not even nice in the middle of the day when it get frizzy and smells like nothing.

The third reason is because I felt it.. I felt the time to cover myself is now.. believe me during the fasting month.. I had really absolved myself to God to cater to the then heartbreak I was experiencing.. ala ala redha dengan ketentuan Allah giteww.. I needed solace.. a sense of comfort..of understanding.. of having faith and will myself to accept qadha dan qadar.. to move on and let go..and in that moment where I felt like Im close to God.. I just knew it was time.. and believe me girls.. when your time comes.. you will know as well..

But what made me wear the Hijab was a story that my dad told me.. see I was still doubting my decision.. I weighed the sacrifices.. I would have to give up dancing.. earrings.. baby-Ts.. I would have to jaga batas (memang perlu pon duhh).. and of course the impression I leave.. especially to my non-muslim friends.. they would distance themselves with the impression that Im a Muslim..closer to God and I wouldn't be open and accept their ways anymore.. it did happen actually.. a few of my close chinese friends weren't so close anymore.. but Ah soh soh is still with me though.. tapi truth be told she had her doubts too intially.. I just slapped her and said.. don't be stupid boleh.. Im still me.. :p

back to the story...well not a story.. a Hadith actually.. Abah said
" Najjua,there was once a man, a pious man who rarely sinned and devoted himself to God.. he did many good deeds and was sure to enter heaven.. upon his death when he was about to enter paradise.. he couldn't. His foot was stuck from entering the gates of paradise.."

and then I asked " Kenapa tak boleh masuk Abah?"

and he replied " because his daughters were clinging on to his foot.. his daughters didn't wear the Hijab and didn't do many good deeds.. so as their father.. he has to bear the burden of responsibility of his children"

I was stunned into silence after hearing that.. and since that day I wore the Hijab and never took it off.. how can I when I know just by not covering up..I am preventing my parents from Heaven? How can I be so selfish. I don't want to be the daughter that clings to their father's leg on the gates of paradise. I want to enter with him..insyallah.

I've always looked at the sexy free haired girls..  that I forgot to look at other beauties right in front of me..I forgot that taste can change and the simple beauty of the hijab is as alluring as any curvaceous bombshell as well.. especially sekarang ada these hijabistas la apela.. so thats like icing on the cake to see these new looks.. hijab actually boosts the beauty.. 

So I adorned my hijab for the love of God.. for my family and for myself.. as for the ex rumor, well in a way she did open my eyes to the beauty of it, if she didn't appear in my life I expect the process would have been delayed.. because there was no one to intrigue or inspire me at that point in time and logically speaking who more can intrigue a naive girl than the hijabi girlfriend of her first ever ex boyfriend betul dak? So yeah I would have worn the Hijab much much later if I wasn't interested in her.. you could say she was the catalyst to me wearing the Hijab asap.. she convinced me that you can be beautiful and attractive while wearing the Hijab.. that you can be stylish and open and not be condemned to live underneath a rock once you're covered.. So I guess that was the silver lightning amongst those dark clouds, she did something that nobody else can.. for being my catalyst to something good.. towards covering up..and I thank her for that.. 

So to girls who is afraid of not looking their best if they were to cover up, I say we don't need perfection to be happy.. we just need acceptance.. when we love ourselves we will be content. And fyi I looked waaayy better when I wore tudung than when I was freehair (ibarat potato ke baked potato giteww haha) so to each her own I guess. I hope your journey will come soon one day though not as "eventful" as mine. Hahah

So thats my Tudung story. Hope yall enjoyed!

~


Tags:

Share:

0 comments